A TRUE PROFESSIONAL

Greg and Terry were visiting us in Garner this past Summer - I think it was in early August. We hadn't spent as much time with our best friends as we had in years past, so we had a lot of card playing to catch up on as well as time together. Matt and Mary were coming to Raleigh for the Tom Petty concert at the outdoor amphitheater not far from our house. They had time before the concert so we invited them over for dinner before the show. When they arrived, Matt and Mary pulled in the driveway in this big, luxury BMW. I was impressed. We all sat outside on the deck on this beautiful Saturday afternoon snacking and drinking beer. Matt suggested we all come to the concert. It was tempting, but we had just purchased tickets to see U23D at the Imax theater. So the parents would do their thing while the "children" would do theirs. It was nice, though, to see that we had a common, musical taste. We all had dinner and I think both Matt and Mary enjoyed one of Ronnie's famous meals. My take on this short , but memorable visit was how cordial Matt was, somewhat reserved and very conversational. Now we have known the Fords for over 10 years and have heard (and shared) some of Matt's growing up history in NC. His behavior on this visit struck me as someone who had more than grown up, he was professional in his behavior, appearance and demeanor (plus the car was a nice touch). It was the last time we saw Matt and having him there truly enhanced a wonderful day. I wish it had been a longer visit.

Need For Speed - Parts 2 and/or 3

Matt had started to race the red RX7 in local time trial events and was driving the wheels off of it. He quickly became an expert at repairing the RX7 and my garage quickly became his personal auto shop. Even with all the stuff he was accumulating he needed to replace all sorts of parts, including engines. This meant we had to have more RX7s to part from or maybe put parts into-he wasn't quite sure. He started looking for another RX7 and eventually found one that he was wanted to get for $600 or so. He showed me a picture. It was blue, same year I think. It looked ok in the pic. He said he was thinking of taking the guts out of the red RX7 and putting them into this blue RX7 because he liked the interior in the blue one better and thought the body was in better shape. When I asked where the car was I was kind of surprised to hear "It's in Knoxville, TN dad. It's only a short drive from here. It'll be fun". Now Matt and I were just starting to get to a place where we wanted to be in each others company and I was a little leery about an entire day in a car with no escape from each other, but his enthusiasm for the adventure was infectious. (Reflecting on Matt I now understand that most of life is about the adventure, not the end result) I thought we were driving there, getting the car, and coming home. Wasn't that simple. We were driving there with a car trailer, which I had no idea how to use, much less where to go get it, loading a car onto it, driving home, unloading it, and returning the trailer. "And, Oh, Dad, can you cover the trailer? I'm a little short". Off we go, me driving with a trailer for the first time. I was a nervous wreck by the time we got there 5 hours later, especially up and down through the mountains. When we did get there we had to back the trailer in at a sharp angle into the dirt driveway. Looking back now, it was very comical for Matt and the guy selling the car to see me attempt it. At the time I thought it was more like a nightmare. I had no conception of the physics involved with backing up a trailer. Matt was running around telling me which way to turn the wheel and getting very frustrated with my lack of understanding. I think I finally gave up and let him do it. When we finally saw the car it was a huge let down. One side was dented, the windshield was cracked, the interior that looked so nice in the picture didn't look so nice in person - and it didn't run! I wasn't happy at all and didn't want Matt to pay even $600 for it. Matt was disappointed too, I could see it in his face, but he wasn't going to back down. He wanted that car. I think it was a matter of pride. We discussed it some more and agreed to offer the guy less. He didn't budge at first and Matt wanted to just give him the money and leave - he was mad by now. I told him we had to push the guy a little more so we went back over to him laid out our sob story about how we drove 5 hours for a car that was not what it was portrayed as (he said Matt had only heard what he wanted to)and it didn't look like anyone was beating down the doors to buy it. He finally relented and knocked of $100 or so. Loading it onto the trailer was something else since it didn't run. After about an hour of more we had it strapped on and headed back home.

It wasn't more then a week or two and Matt had taken both of the RX7s apart and was rebuilding himself a new car. I am still amazed at that. I would watch and pretend to help but mostly got in the way. So now he had a car that was running and a lot of spare parts in our driveway, basement, and garage where they would remain for years as yet another RX7, black this time, found its way to our house. Eventually, when he was at Elon, all the parts were hauled away - the RX7s themselves had been long gone as he moved on to the Miata.

Completely on his own he learned everything there is to know about an RX7, find suitable cars for parts, and build a car! This is a prime example of what Mark said in his eulogy speech about Matt's approach to life - learn about it, find it, and made it happen - not to mention the adventure that went along with all of it.

Basketball Anyone?

I don't know why, but I woke up in the middle of the night and one of the 3 million things I started thinking about was the hundreds of basketball games at the local YMCA I'd been to over the years to watch our sons play. They were both good in their own right but in completely different ways.

Terry and I spend most Saturday or Sunday afternoons watching him or Mark play. We met a lot of nice people. We also met a lot of people that didn't like how aggressive Matt played, especially it they were parents of kids on the other team.

Matt had a passion for basketball during those years. That was before he started to drive and all of that aggressive energy and intensity had to go somewhere. He went all out, running hard, bumping hard, giving and getting fouls, never afraid of the other guy or to take a shot. He wasn't the all time scorer but his coaches knew how to use him to shut down the other team.

He used to challenge me, Mark, and Terry to pick up games or horse in the driveway. He always outplayed all of us, although Mark could give him a run for his money. I never had a chance though. I was reluctant because I knew I wasn't going to win but I always had fun anyway. The constant chatter, challange, and kidding.

In recent years we always played a game or two over the Thanksgiving holiday either before or during our deep fried turkey preparation (something Matt insisted on a few years ago and even went out and bought the deep frier). It had become something of a tradition.

I dont know if we will attempt it this year or not, but I know we will all miss it and we are all thankful, even in the midst of all of this, that we had those times with Matt and can replay them in our heads (and yes, I can actually wim those versions!)

Mark's Eulogy Speech - Oct 12, 2008

For those of you that didn't have the opportunity to hear it, I'm posting the eulogy speech our son Mark made for Matt. It is one of the most moving things I've heard in my lifetime...

First and foremost I would like to thank all of you for coming today to honor my big brother Matt. There’s no way I can express to you in words alone how much Matt meant to me. Matt was not always the nicest person in the world. Anyone who spent time with him in high school knew that, but he was extremely loving and passionate about his friends and family. If you are here today that includes you.

I do want to share a few things that I knew about Matt:
He loved competition- racing, sports, debates and arguments, working out, trivia, board games, always the banker in monopoly, corn-hole etc. He hated to lose. He never cheated. He always did everything he could to keep the competition pure whether it was a backyard football game, a late night card game, or any of the sports he coached.
He loved everything live- It was never good enough for Matt to just listen to a band on the radio, or even a cd. If he liked the music, he had to see them perform it in person, and when he couldn’t do that he would only listen to the live versions on his Ipod and computers. This mentality applies to sports too, racing, football, basketball, soccer. The tv wasn’t good enough-especially if Matt could be there with a few friends.
He loved anything that could go fast. A fast car, a fast plane, a fast boat. Someone who could run fast, bike fast, swim fast, paddle fast. My brother loved speed. If there was an average speed calculator for his lifetime of driving, I imagine it would be well over 75 mph, and he didn’t like highways-they were too easy.
He loved technology- Everything Matt had always had to be the top of the line- newest thing out there. It’s because of him that I know how to use a computer. It’s because of him that my mom can do e-mail. Not only did he make certain that he had top of the line gear, he did his best to guide his friends and family to make sure they had the same.
He loved to work hard and party harder- I don’t need to go into detail about this. If you talk to anyone from Southland they will tell you just how much he was done for them. None of us think it was a coincidence that while Matt was there they went from regional-to world-wide. If you talk to any of his friends, you’ll also hear how much partying he has done with them. The select few bars that Matt enjoyed dearly- the Rhino Club, or the Burro, just might go out of business without his regular donations.
He also loved the Panthers. You couldn’t have spent time with matt within the past 4 years without knowing that.
He loved a challenge- If you ever wanted to get Matt to do something, just tell him he couldn’t do it. He could fix anything. A car, a computer, a cell phone, a vacuum, a dishwasher-you name it. I learned so much from Matt, but the biggest thing was that you really can do anything if you think about it, do some research, and take your time.
Most importantly, he loved all of you. Each and every one of you. If you feel touched by his life- that was Matt’s way of letting you know he cared. Keep in mind what I said about him not being the nicest person in the world, not everyone made it into his circle, but those who did- he would do anything for and expect nothing in return.
Matt is gone. We all know that. It will not be easy. There are three things that I have been able to take comfort in out of all this tragedy and disaster. If you have been around the family in the past few days you probably have heard these things already, but they are all we have to help us through the past week.
Matt lived his life at 100mph constantly. He did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, and however he pleased. He lived more in his 26 years then most of us could hope to do in 100. He had no regrets. It was almost like he knew.
Matt- even in his death is still helping others. His eyes have been used to help 2 other people in this world see.
The most comforting feeling for me is when the time comes for me to pass, and for any of you here in this room. Matt will already be there waiting, ready to be by my side to welcome me into eternity. And I’m sure in the mean time, he will be driving the fastest cars, and have the best computers, and be tailgating for the arrival of us all.
Again I would like to thank you all for coming today, it means a lot to our family and it would mean even more to him. And remember: Matt Ford loved you and cared about you, and in time would expect you all to keep moving forward like he never left you and cherish his memory.

Need for Speed – The Beginning 1998

Matt started working long before he was 16 so that he could get his own car. In fact it was years before - Terry had to fill out special work permit papers and take them somewhere so he could get a job. He worked near our house at the Blumenthal Home, an old age home built on a beautiful piece of land formerly known as the Lasater Estate. I think he had mixed feeling about working there. Most of the time he worked in the kitchen but as he spent more time there he started to work at jobs that allowed him to interact with the old folks. While he wouldn't admit it to us, I think he developed some special relationships with a couple of the residents. But relationships aside, he was working for the money to get a car! The day finally came - I don't remember exactly when I gave in and went out to shop for a car. Of course Matt, Terry, and I had had plenty of discussions, arguments, and fights over what kind of car he could get. Terry was quite clear that she didn't want him to have a sports car for his first ride. So I let him buy a sports car, and not just any sports car - a red, fast Mazda RX7. I don't think I even knew what that was before I saw it. I'm not sure why I let him get it. I didn't do it to piss Terry off but knew that it would. I guess it was the excitement, joy, and happiness on Matt's face when he saw it. Matt hadn't been the happiest of kids as a teenager and that day was one where I knew he was thrilled. Little did I know the future angst and fiery battles that car would cause our family. Looking back I think it was an important chapter in forming Matt into himself as we all know him. If I had forced him to get a "safe" clunker then maybe Matt would have been a more cautious guy, not push the envelope at every chance. I'm glad I didn't because that's not what is inside of Matt. A need for speed, aggressive, fast-paced, full of life. I think the RX7 gave him an outlet to channel some of the energy and drive into becoming a fast, but excellent driver with an appreciation for finely engineered cars - the beginning of a true passion for him

My Last Day With Matt - 9/28/08

Matt and I traded vehicles the previous week because he needed the Jeep to move stuff from his W. Market St. apartment and from Mary's single apartment into their new 2 bedroom luxury place at City View (he was proud). He came over on Sunday mid-morning to take me to the Panthers game with him. Matt was so excited to be driving the M3 again. I had gone to 17 gas stations the day before in search of premium because I knew we would be using that car. We left the house at 10A at a very quick pace, not crazy 3 digit speed like he sometimes liked to drive, but faster then I normally go. The hour drive was good. We talked about everyday stuff: gas shortage, my work, his work, politics, and the upcoming race at Martinsville. When we hit Charlotte he was anxious to park the car and get to the tailgate. We tried exit 9 but he got impatient after sitting in line for all of 30 seconds so we peeled out into traffic and went to the next exit. Success! We were in a parking lot within 10 minutes. Both of us are standing outside the car and Matt is deciding whether to change into shorts because its much warmer then it was when we left Winston. He looks at me and what I'm wearing, a yellow tee shirt, shorts, and flip flops and says "Come on Dad, show some team spirit" and reaches into the trunk and pulls out a black Panthers tee thats all balled up and full of Ginger's dog hair. "You're not going in there unless you put this on". We walked 3 or 4 blocks to meet up with Matt's friends (I'm sorry I don't remember your names) who were tailgating with family and friends in the parking lot of an auto repair shop. We hung out talking and drinking beers for about an hour them headed towards the stadium. Walking thru the tunnel elicited chants and cheers from the crowd including Matt. He was pumped. This might be one of the few times he was going to see the kick off. We made our way up the ramp to his seats and he pointed out the recently added bbq stand - JJR's that is practically under his seats. "The smell from this place drives me crazy. They have the best brisket I've ever eaten". I agreed to buy the beers since he gave me the ticket. We got to the seats just in time to see kick off. Shortly after, the crowd started to boo, or so I thought. I turned to Matt and asked why they were booing, I didn't see anything wrong with the play. "Dad (exasperated) they aren't booing, they're chanting Hooover. And they also chant Mooose so don't think our fans boo our team!" Yet one more time my son demonstrated his "superior intellect" to his father. The game was great. It started out close enough in the 1st quarter and then the Panthers pulled away winning 24-9 against rival Falcons. I kept us stocked in beers and in the 3rd quarter got a couple of brisket sandwiches. Matt was so happy. We stayed until the very end so we could see each player leave the field. Matt is one true fan. The ride home was fast, weaving in and out of cars on I77 all the way to Lake Norman. Once we passed the lake he calmed a little and kept it at a pretty consistent 80 mph until we got home. We opened up some beers when we got in the house and he asked me if I wanted him to help me fix the window in the Jeep. We got the parts out and he realized that I didn't have a hex head screw driver so he couldn't even take the door panel off so we decided to put it off until later. Besides, we were getting hungry. Terry had dinner ready for us. It was good. We were tired. Hanging out in front of the big screen watching more football, news, some Simpsons - you rarely watch anything for for then 10 minutes when Matt has the remote. Terry and Matt had a lively discussion / debate over politics, the candidates, and why they had the opinions they did. I thought it might turn into an argument but it didn't, just spirited conversation. Then he abruptly stood up and said "I'm out of here" and he took off down the stairs to the basement slamming the door behind him like he'd done for 20 years before. Terry yelled out "Come give me a kiss goodbye" not fully expecting him to have heard her, much less turn around. But the door opened, he came back into the family room and gave her a kiss and a hug and told her he loved her. I told him to drive carefully and that I'd talk to him during the week. We didn't say we loved each other or hug - something I regret, but we both knew it to be true without saying it very often. Off he went into the night in the M3 back to Mary, whom he had left to unpack and set up their new place.

It was a typical great day spent with Matt. It didn't matter what we were doing- I cherish every moment I have with my sons because they like me and want to be with me.