Merry Christmas

Doesn't feel like the right thing to say this year but we made it through the day. It had a rough start and a rough finish for Terry and I. In between was nice. I had my private time with Matt in the morning before Terry got up. I went through our picture album of Matt's that so many people helped pull pictures for right after Matt died. (Special thanks to Malinda and Mary for making that come together). I wanted to cry and I did, uncontrollably for a short while, because it was my time with Matt on Christmas. The chimes out on the deck were ringing softly. (I swear I hear them more now then I ever did before). After I was done with my private time I got ready for the day. While I was doing that Terry had her private time to cry. Then when I came back downstairs we had some time to cry together. All the crying was good. It had to get out so that we could spend the rest of the day without crying. Almost on cue as our sobs were subsiding, Mark, Malinda, and Molly (their dog) came in the door. Mark was wearing his newly received bathrobe over his clothes and declared it was time to open the presents in our robes and pajamas like we always do. So we proceeded to do just that. We spent the rest of the day talking, laughing, drinking eggnog, and watching dvds and movies. We had a lot of phone calls from family and friends. One of Matt's co-workers that we really don't know called. He told Terry that he always pretended like he knew what he was doing (he worked on computers, softwear, etc. like Matt) but that actually he would always have to step outside and call Matt each time someone asked him to do something. We both talked with Mary, who was at her Moms, right before dinner. That was tough. We then ate a fantastic meal prepared by Terry and afterwards we talked and laughed a lot more while playing dominos. When we realized it was midnight we helped Mark and Malinda get all of their stuff into the car to go home. Terry and I then talked, cried, and talked some more about the losses in our life in addition to Matt including her sister Jeannie, Matt's close friend Tripp, my co-workers teenage daughter Katie, both of my parents, and our dog Jessie. Why did this happen to us? When will it stop? We both know there is no answer to the first and the answer to the second is it won't. So we did take a tiny bit of comfort knowing that all of those lost to us are with each other. They are good. They don't need us to worry about them. They do need us to concentrate on ourselves and each other. I'm glad the day is done. It's one more "first" that we all made it through. It isn't what any of us wanted for Christmas but we did have some joy, comfort, and love during the day which is the most we could have hoped for.

We hope that all of you had the same. Love - Greg, Terry, Mark, and Malinda

All I Want For Christmas

On the way to work I heard Mirah Carey's 1994 "All I Want For Christmas Is You". In it she's declaring that she doesn't care about Christmas presents or lights; all she wants for Christmas is to be with her lover. As I was listening to the words I realized they pretty much summed up how we all feel right now; willing to give up any and all joy, presents, or cheer just to have the one thing we can't...Matt

The Great Pillow Hunt

So I've been on a pillow quest for quite some time now, looking for the perfect decorative accents for the couches. No one knew this more than Matt, who would tease me about my pillow obsession and weekly trips to Target and Pier 1 (among others) in search for these pillows I could never find. I could see them in my head, but no store could deliver on exactly what I wanted. After awhile I got frustrated and ended up buying a couple of plain navy pillows shortly after I moved into my single apartment, to hold me over until I found what I was really looking for. Almost immediately, Matt told me he did not care for the pillows and that they weren't even comfortable (he spent quite a lot of time on my couch). So weeks and months go by, still no pillows. It certainly wasn't for lack of me searching in stores and online. Matt would occasionally accompany me on these searches and would just shake his head when I walked out of the stores empty handed. I even bought one once and let it hang out on the couch for a week or so, then decided it wasn't right and returned it (again he just shook his head). Then finally I did find a pair one Saturday morning while Matt and I were out looking at things for the new apartment, they still weren't quite what I was looking for but after consulting with him and getting his approval I bought them.
Tonight I was out shopping and came across THE pillow, the closest I have found to what I've been looking for. At this point I had pretty much given up and figured my dream pillows didn't exist, but now I have the one to jumpstart my future pillow purchases and decorative accents. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I was excited about my find and immediately thought of Matt after my purchase because he knows how exhaustive this search has been for me. I know he would have had something to say about it, good or bad, if he were here when I came home and propped it on the couch. It probably would've been bad because our styles didn't always mesh. For that reason I am sure I will never part with the pillows that we did actually both agree on, reglardless of what style direction me and THE pillow go in.

The Great Pillow Hunt

So I’ve been on a pillow quest for quite some time now, looking for the perfect decorative accents for the couches. No one knew this more than Matt, who would tease me about my pillow obsession and weekly trips to Target and Pier 1 (among others) in search for these pillows I could never find. I could see them in my head, but no store could deliver on exactly what I wanted. After awhile I got frustrated and ended up buying a couple of plain navy pillows shortly after I moved into my single apartment, to hold me over until I found what I was really looking for. Almost immediately, Matt told me he did not care for the pillows and that they weren’t even comfortable (he spent quite a lot of time on my couch). So weeks and months go by, still no pillows. It certainly wasn’t for lack of me searching in stores and online. I finally did find a pair one Saturday morning while Matt and I were out shopping, they still weren’t quite what I had been looking for but after consulting with him and getting his approval I bought them.

Tonight I was out shopping and came across THE pillow, the closest I have found to what I’ve been looking for. At this point I had pretty much given up and figured my dream pillows didn’t exist, but now I have the one to jumpstart my future pillow purchases and decorative accents. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I was excited about my find and immediately thought of Matt after my purchase because he knows how exhaustive this search has been for me. I know he would have had something to say about it, good or bad, if he were here. It probably would’ve been bad because our styles didn’t always mesh. For that reason I am sure I will never part with the pillows that we did actually both agree on, regardless of what style direction me and THE pillow go in.

Random Thoughts

• Matt really wanted to take Mary to London to visit Alex, Liz, Andrew, and Kristi. He talked to me about it on several occasions.
• Matt and Mark playing pick up basketball in the driveway over the years with their friends - made me feel older than I should have felt!
• Watching the Simpsons with Matt. He seemed to have a special laugh that he only used then. Infectious. Soon the whole family would be hysterical.
• Matt and Mary were so happy playing Guitar Hero at the family vacation at the beach this summer. Entertained us for hours.
• Matt, and in years to follow, Mark were both so pumped to be running their respective parts of stage crew at West Forsyth High and were really into it. Terry and I went to each production - they were all good. Matt stepped out of his comfort zone and actually acted in a couple of productions. Terry and I couldn't be more proud of our sons. Stage crew is one of the few commonalities they shared. I'm glad they did.
• Matt, Mark, Terry, and me chasing each other around the yard of our house in NJ with Super Soakers, water hose, and buckets of water in the summertime...a variation on the same was chasing each other around the yard with the Lazer Tag guns. Terry and I did pretty well with the water, but I was awful at Lazer Tag. Always the first one out. Who do you think was the winner?
• Matt, Mark, and I spent hours and hours in the cold, gray, dreary winter weather in NJ building a luge course down the ravine at the back of our yard. It's amazing that none of us got seriously hurt sleding down the 70 yard course of ice, snow, and gigantic boulders in a metal saucer. Terry was afraid for all of us, but we had a blast
• Matt loved to play against us in tv Jeopardy in our family room. He was actually very good. Terry repeatedly encouraged him to try out for the show.
• As soon as Matt graduated from Elon he would show up with his dog Ginger at the end of a work week and hang with us for a couple of hours then be off on an adventure. Sometimes it was out of the blue from our perspective. I envy his spontaneity. We'd take care of Ginger and then he would show up again and hang with us for a while and we'd get to hear all about what he did. Later on this evolved to him and Mary dropping the dogs off and we got to know and love both Mary and Gracie.
• I miss some of the simplest things: getting a short email from him with a link to some website, talking to him on my way home from work, him calling to ask me a question, me calling him to ask a question, discussing popular tv shows, watching him use his iphone, being scared to death in the m3

Good ol' Matt (from Don West)

We were on our first lap at Virginia International Raceway and it was getting tense. Motors were racing, tires squealing and attitudes flaring in a friendly (no holds barred) race between the skilled and the unskilled. I was behind Matt as usual and tried to follow his line in hairpin turns and s curves. One of the other skilled drivers tried to get around me and we wrestled a turn pushing into the tire lined corners and wham...tires went flying. One bounced off my cart as we headed into the straightaway when I realized something was wrong....Matt was at a standstill and 20 feet wasn't enough to stop. Screeeeeeech...bam! It was a practice lap and apparently, I was the only one who didn't know. I was following Matt and he was not practicing...he never practiced...he raced. We had a few choice words and the race began. That first lap was the last time I saw the back of his cart and at the end of the race we laughed.

So was the four years we worked together. We raced and most of the time I watched from a distance as he ran his course. Every once in awhile I saw his tail lights but never the brake light.

We spent a lot of time together making IT work. He loved our work...put up with my half baked ideas and challenged me to LEARN. He was a true friend (not the ones who tell you what you want to hear) a natural leader/teacher and formidable challenger and one of the finest people I've ever known. That was Matt to me. We love him and miss him. I often reflect and catch myself wanting his opinion and most of the time I know it. He left an indelible mark and I'm so much better for knowing him. He was truly good and part of his legacy rests with me to carry on and provide for the other 94 employees and 400 relatives in his "Southland Family".

Living Life at 100 MPH

Matt lived his life at a pace that very few others could endure. This past summer, Andrew and I invited Matt and Mary to my brother's annual Black & White Party in the Poconos. Driving from Greensboro, North Carolina to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania is almost exactly 500 miles; a solid 8 hour drive. Mary & Matt had looked into flights however if you remember, this past summer flights were absurdly expensive. Besides, the closest airport is an hour away from the house so they'd most likely need to rent a car as well. So Matt & Mary decided to drive and RSVP'd "yes." I was so excited that my friends from "down South" were coming up "North" for the party. Now, of course some other opportunites happened to present themselves the same weekend as the party. A Smashing Pumpkins concert in Raleigh, more specifically, on August 17th, the day after the party. Unable to turn down a concert with friends, Matt agreed to go to the show. Mary however was not interested in seeing the Smashing Pumpkins (again) and declined the invitation. What did this mean for Matt? It meant that on Friday, he'd drive 500 miles North to the Poconos, Pa. Saturday he would attend a formal Black & White Party and on Sunday, Mary and him would pack up and head 500 miles back to Greensboro. Matt would then drop Mary off at Greensboro, get back on the road yet again for Raleigh and a concert with friends. Matt and Mary didn't get up to the Poconos until 2 am on Saturday. We hung out and had a beer with them, then the ladies went to bed. I don't think the guys got to bed until 4 am. Saturday we all had lunch at the lake then the guys put together the grill we would use that night. That evening we had a great time at the party and Sunday morning Matt and Mary were packed and ready to go by 8:30 am. They made it safe and sound back to Greensboro and Matt was able to enjoy the Smashing Pumpkins Sunday night.

Not many people have the stamina and energy to maintain a lifestyle filled with adventure. Matt did!

That Matthew!

I'm trying hard not to get sad over Matt not being with us in the flesh at Christmas. One thing that keeps me smiling instead of crying are the memories of waking up in the morning, coming downstairs, looking out the window, and seeing my cute little reindeers and sleigh in the front yard. The problem was Matt had been home and had positioned my cute little reindeer to be humping for all the children and neighbors to see. That Matthew! I can't tell you how many times he did that over the years, but he thought he was so funny I kept putting them out there every year, knowing he got such a kick out of getting a rise out of me.

A TRUE PROFESSIONAL

Greg and Terry were visiting us in Garner this past Summer - I think it was in early August. We hadn't spent as much time with our best friends as we had in years past, so we had a lot of card playing to catch up on as well as time together. Matt and Mary were coming to Raleigh for the Tom Petty concert at the outdoor amphitheater not far from our house. They had time before the concert so we invited them over for dinner before the show. When they arrived, Matt and Mary pulled in the driveway in this big, luxury BMW. I was impressed. We all sat outside on the deck on this beautiful Saturday afternoon snacking and drinking beer. Matt suggested we all come to the concert. It was tempting, but we had just purchased tickets to see U23D at the Imax theater. So the parents would do their thing while the "children" would do theirs. It was nice, though, to see that we had a common, musical taste. We all had dinner and I think both Matt and Mary enjoyed one of Ronnie's famous meals. My take on this short , but memorable visit was how cordial Matt was, somewhat reserved and very conversational. Now we have known the Fords for over 10 years and have heard (and shared) some of Matt's growing up history in NC. His behavior on this visit struck me as someone who had more than grown up, he was professional in his behavior, appearance and demeanor (plus the car was a nice touch). It was the last time we saw Matt and having him there truly enhanced a wonderful day. I wish it had been a longer visit.

Need For Speed - Parts 2 and/or 3

Matt had started to race the red RX7 in local time trial events and was driving the wheels off of it. He quickly became an expert at repairing the RX7 and my garage quickly became his personal auto shop. Even with all the stuff he was accumulating he needed to replace all sorts of parts, including engines. This meant we had to have more RX7s to part from or maybe put parts into-he wasn't quite sure. He started looking for another RX7 and eventually found one that he was wanted to get for $600 or so. He showed me a picture. It was blue, same year I think. It looked ok in the pic. He said he was thinking of taking the guts out of the red RX7 and putting them into this blue RX7 because he liked the interior in the blue one better and thought the body was in better shape. When I asked where the car was I was kind of surprised to hear "It's in Knoxville, TN dad. It's only a short drive from here. It'll be fun". Now Matt and I were just starting to get to a place where we wanted to be in each others company and I was a little leery about an entire day in a car with no escape from each other, but his enthusiasm for the adventure was infectious. (Reflecting on Matt I now understand that most of life is about the adventure, not the end result) I thought we were driving there, getting the car, and coming home. Wasn't that simple. We were driving there with a car trailer, which I had no idea how to use, much less where to go get it, loading a car onto it, driving home, unloading it, and returning the trailer. "And, Oh, Dad, can you cover the trailer? I'm a little short". Off we go, me driving with a trailer for the first time. I was a nervous wreck by the time we got there 5 hours later, especially up and down through the mountains. When we did get there we had to back the trailer in at a sharp angle into the dirt driveway. Looking back now, it was very comical for Matt and the guy selling the car to see me attempt it. At the time I thought it was more like a nightmare. I had no conception of the physics involved with backing up a trailer. Matt was running around telling me which way to turn the wheel and getting very frustrated with my lack of understanding. I think I finally gave up and let him do it. When we finally saw the car it was a huge let down. One side was dented, the windshield was cracked, the interior that looked so nice in the picture didn't look so nice in person - and it didn't run! I wasn't happy at all and didn't want Matt to pay even $600 for it. Matt was disappointed too, I could see it in his face, but he wasn't going to back down. He wanted that car. I think it was a matter of pride. We discussed it some more and agreed to offer the guy less. He didn't budge at first and Matt wanted to just give him the money and leave - he was mad by now. I told him we had to push the guy a little more so we went back over to him laid out our sob story about how we drove 5 hours for a car that was not what it was portrayed as (he said Matt had only heard what he wanted to)and it didn't look like anyone was beating down the doors to buy it. He finally relented and knocked of $100 or so. Loading it onto the trailer was something else since it didn't run. After about an hour of more we had it strapped on and headed back home.

It wasn't more then a week or two and Matt had taken both of the RX7s apart and was rebuilding himself a new car. I am still amazed at that. I would watch and pretend to help but mostly got in the way. So now he had a car that was running and a lot of spare parts in our driveway, basement, and garage where they would remain for years as yet another RX7, black this time, found its way to our house. Eventually, when he was at Elon, all the parts were hauled away - the RX7s themselves had been long gone as he moved on to the Miata.

Completely on his own he learned everything there is to know about an RX7, find suitable cars for parts, and build a car! This is a prime example of what Mark said in his eulogy speech about Matt's approach to life - learn about it, find it, and made it happen - not to mention the adventure that went along with all of it.

Basketball Anyone?

I don't know why, but I woke up in the middle of the night and one of the 3 million things I started thinking about was the hundreds of basketball games at the local YMCA I'd been to over the years to watch our sons play. They were both good in their own right but in completely different ways.

Terry and I spend most Saturday or Sunday afternoons watching him or Mark play. We met a lot of nice people. We also met a lot of people that didn't like how aggressive Matt played, especially it they were parents of kids on the other team.

Matt had a passion for basketball during those years. That was before he started to drive and all of that aggressive energy and intensity had to go somewhere. He went all out, running hard, bumping hard, giving and getting fouls, never afraid of the other guy or to take a shot. He wasn't the all time scorer but his coaches knew how to use him to shut down the other team.

He used to challenge me, Mark, and Terry to pick up games or horse in the driveway. He always outplayed all of us, although Mark could give him a run for his money. I never had a chance though. I was reluctant because I knew I wasn't going to win but I always had fun anyway. The constant chatter, challange, and kidding.

In recent years we always played a game or two over the Thanksgiving holiday either before or during our deep fried turkey preparation (something Matt insisted on a few years ago and even went out and bought the deep frier). It had become something of a tradition.

I dont know if we will attempt it this year or not, but I know we will all miss it and we are all thankful, even in the midst of all of this, that we had those times with Matt and can replay them in our heads (and yes, I can actually wim those versions!)

Mark's Eulogy Speech - Oct 12, 2008

For those of you that didn't have the opportunity to hear it, I'm posting the eulogy speech our son Mark made for Matt. It is one of the most moving things I've heard in my lifetime...

First and foremost I would like to thank all of you for coming today to honor my big brother Matt. There’s no way I can express to you in words alone how much Matt meant to me. Matt was not always the nicest person in the world. Anyone who spent time with him in high school knew that, but he was extremely loving and passionate about his friends and family. If you are here today that includes you.

I do want to share a few things that I knew about Matt:
He loved competition- racing, sports, debates and arguments, working out, trivia, board games, always the banker in monopoly, corn-hole etc. He hated to lose. He never cheated. He always did everything he could to keep the competition pure whether it was a backyard football game, a late night card game, or any of the sports he coached.
He loved everything live- It was never good enough for Matt to just listen to a band on the radio, or even a cd. If he liked the music, he had to see them perform it in person, and when he couldn’t do that he would only listen to the live versions on his Ipod and computers. This mentality applies to sports too, racing, football, basketball, soccer. The tv wasn’t good enough-especially if Matt could be there with a few friends.
He loved anything that could go fast. A fast car, a fast plane, a fast boat. Someone who could run fast, bike fast, swim fast, paddle fast. My brother loved speed. If there was an average speed calculator for his lifetime of driving, I imagine it would be well over 75 mph, and he didn’t like highways-they were too easy.
He loved technology- Everything Matt had always had to be the top of the line- newest thing out there. It’s because of him that I know how to use a computer. It’s because of him that my mom can do e-mail. Not only did he make certain that he had top of the line gear, he did his best to guide his friends and family to make sure they had the same.
He loved to work hard and party harder- I don’t need to go into detail about this. If you talk to anyone from Southland they will tell you just how much he was done for them. None of us think it was a coincidence that while Matt was there they went from regional-to world-wide. If you talk to any of his friends, you’ll also hear how much partying he has done with them. The select few bars that Matt enjoyed dearly- the Rhino Club, or the Burro, just might go out of business without his regular donations.
He also loved the Panthers. You couldn’t have spent time with matt within the past 4 years without knowing that.
He loved a challenge- If you ever wanted to get Matt to do something, just tell him he couldn’t do it. He could fix anything. A car, a computer, a cell phone, a vacuum, a dishwasher-you name it. I learned so much from Matt, but the biggest thing was that you really can do anything if you think about it, do some research, and take your time.
Most importantly, he loved all of you. Each and every one of you. If you feel touched by his life- that was Matt’s way of letting you know he cared. Keep in mind what I said about him not being the nicest person in the world, not everyone made it into his circle, but those who did- he would do anything for and expect nothing in return.
Matt is gone. We all know that. It will not be easy. There are three things that I have been able to take comfort in out of all this tragedy and disaster. If you have been around the family in the past few days you probably have heard these things already, but they are all we have to help us through the past week.
Matt lived his life at 100mph constantly. He did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, and however he pleased. He lived more in his 26 years then most of us could hope to do in 100. He had no regrets. It was almost like he knew.
Matt- even in his death is still helping others. His eyes have been used to help 2 other people in this world see.
The most comforting feeling for me is when the time comes for me to pass, and for any of you here in this room. Matt will already be there waiting, ready to be by my side to welcome me into eternity. And I’m sure in the mean time, he will be driving the fastest cars, and have the best computers, and be tailgating for the arrival of us all.
Again I would like to thank you all for coming today, it means a lot to our family and it would mean even more to him. And remember: Matt Ford loved you and cared about you, and in time would expect you all to keep moving forward like he never left you and cherish his memory.

Need for Speed – The Beginning 1998

Matt started working long before he was 16 so that he could get his own car. In fact it was years before - Terry had to fill out special work permit papers and take them somewhere so he could get a job. He worked near our house at the Blumenthal Home, an old age home built on a beautiful piece of land formerly known as the Lasater Estate. I think he had mixed feeling about working there. Most of the time he worked in the kitchen but as he spent more time there he started to work at jobs that allowed him to interact with the old folks. While he wouldn't admit it to us, I think he developed some special relationships with a couple of the residents. But relationships aside, he was working for the money to get a car! The day finally came - I don't remember exactly when I gave in and went out to shop for a car. Of course Matt, Terry, and I had had plenty of discussions, arguments, and fights over what kind of car he could get. Terry was quite clear that she didn't want him to have a sports car for his first ride. So I let him buy a sports car, and not just any sports car - a red, fast Mazda RX7. I don't think I even knew what that was before I saw it. I'm not sure why I let him get it. I didn't do it to piss Terry off but knew that it would. I guess it was the excitement, joy, and happiness on Matt's face when he saw it. Matt hadn't been the happiest of kids as a teenager and that day was one where I knew he was thrilled. Little did I know the future angst and fiery battles that car would cause our family. Looking back I think it was an important chapter in forming Matt into himself as we all know him. If I had forced him to get a "safe" clunker then maybe Matt would have been a more cautious guy, not push the envelope at every chance. I'm glad I didn't because that's not what is inside of Matt. A need for speed, aggressive, fast-paced, full of life. I think the RX7 gave him an outlet to channel some of the energy and drive into becoming a fast, but excellent driver with an appreciation for finely engineered cars - the beginning of a true passion for him

My Last Day With Matt - 9/28/08

Matt and I traded vehicles the previous week because he needed the Jeep to move stuff from his W. Market St. apartment and from Mary's single apartment into their new 2 bedroom luxury place at City View (he was proud). He came over on Sunday mid-morning to take me to the Panthers game with him. Matt was so excited to be driving the M3 again. I had gone to 17 gas stations the day before in search of premium because I knew we would be using that car. We left the house at 10A at a very quick pace, not crazy 3 digit speed like he sometimes liked to drive, but faster then I normally go. The hour drive was good. We talked about everyday stuff: gas shortage, my work, his work, politics, and the upcoming race at Martinsville. When we hit Charlotte he was anxious to park the car and get to the tailgate. We tried exit 9 but he got impatient after sitting in line for all of 30 seconds so we peeled out into traffic and went to the next exit. Success! We were in a parking lot within 10 minutes. Both of us are standing outside the car and Matt is deciding whether to change into shorts because its much warmer then it was when we left Winston. He looks at me and what I'm wearing, a yellow tee shirt, shorts, and flip flops and says "Come on Dad, show some team spirit" and reaches into the trunk and pulls out a black Panthers tee thats all balled up and full of Ginger's dog hair. "You're not going in there unless you put this on". We walked 3 or 4 blocks to meet up with Matt's friends (I'm sorry I don't remember your names) who were tailgating with family and friends in the parking lot of an auto repair shop. We hung out talking and drinking beers for about an hour them headed towards the stadium. Walking thru the tunnel elicited chants and cheers from the crowd including Matt. He was pumped. This might be one of the few times he was going to see the kick off. We made our way up the ramp to his seats and he pointed out the recently added bbq stand - JJR's that is practically under his seats. "The smell from this place drives me crazy. They have the best brisket I've ever eaten". I agreed to buy the beers since he gave me the ticket. We got to the seats just in time to see kick off. Shortly after, the crowd started to boo, or so I thought. I turned to Matt and asked why they were booing, I didn't see anything wrong with the play. "Dad (exasperated) they aren't booing, they're chanting Hooover. And they also chant Mooose so don't think our fans boo our team!" Yet one more time my son demonstrated his "superior intellect" to his father. The game was great. It started out close enough in the 1st quarter and then the Panthers pulled away winning 24-9 against rival Falcons. I kept us stocked in beers and in the 3rd quarter got a couple of brisket sandwiches. Matt was so happy. We stayed until the very end so we could see each player leave the field. Matt is one true fan. The ride home was fast, weaving in and out of cars on I77 all the way to Lake Norman. Once we passed the lake he calmed a little and kept it at a pretty consistent 80 mph until we got home. We opened up some beers when we got in the house and he asked me if I wanted him to help me fix the window in the Jeep. We got the parts out and he realized that I didn't have a hex head screw driver so he couldn't even take the door panel off so we decided to put it off until later. Besides, we were getting hungry. Terry had dinner ready for us. It was good. We were tired. Hanging out in front of the big screen watching more football, news, some Simpsons - you rarely watch anything for for then 10 minutes when Matt has the remote. Terry and Matt had a lively discussion / debate over politics, the candidates, and why they had the opinions they did. I thought it might turn into an argument but it didn't, just spirited conversation. Then he abruptly stood up and said "I'm out of here" and he took off down the stairs to the basement slamming the door behind him like he'd done for 20 years before. Terry yelled out "Come give me a kiss goodbye" not fully expecting him to have heard her, much less turn around. But the door opened, he came back into the family room and gave her a kiss and a hug and told her he loved her. I told him to drive carefully and that I'd talk to him during the week. We didn't say we loved each other or hug - something I regret, but we both knew it to be true without saying it very often. Off he went into the night in the M3 back to Mary, whom he had left to unpack and set up their new place.

It was a typical great day spent with Matt. It didn't matter what we were doing- I cherish every moment I have with my sons because they like me and want to be with me.