My Valentine

Matt was not a big fan of Valentine's Day, in fact he thought it was a fake commercialized holiday just made up for people to spend money. Even though I'm pretty sure I remember him telling me the bloody "true story" behind St. Valentine, when February 14th rolled around last year he didn't let me down. He picked me up, bringing with him 18 red roses, a card, and a big heart shaped box of chocolates. I've been trying all week to remember where we went for dinner and couldn't until just now- Lucky 32. Of course he had waited until the last minute to make reservations anywhere and that was about the only place that wasn't booked up, and the only time they had for us was at 9 or 10 that night. We talked about just waiting until the weekend to go somewhere fancier at a normal eating hour, but I refused. If was Valentine's Day and if you were going to celebrate it, it had to be on the actual day. So we went and had a great (late) dinner. What I will remember most was that even though he wasn't a big fan of Valentine's Day he made a point to make it special for me, and it was. It saddens me to know that was our only Valentine's Day together, but I've been thinking about him a lot today and since I can't give him a card, I thought of how I could at least say "thank you" for all the things he did for me.

To Matt-
Thank you for renewing my love for tennis. If it wasn't for you I may not have started playing regularly again. I will never forget the first time we played together, where it all started. Your passion and enthusiasm to learn the game and get better at it was infectious, and even though I will have to find new tennis partners to play with I will miss our competitiveness on the court and "friendly" wagers. I will keep playing for myself to improve my game and to spread that healthy competition to others, and in doing that I will also be playing for you.

Thank you for pushing me to do better- at work, at play, at our relationship, and at everything else. You never settled for less than the best, and that attitude has started to rub off on me. Your pushing sometimes made me angry if I didn't agree with you at first, but it always made me think and reevaluate. You made me and still make me want to be a better person in all aspects of life.

Thank you for not caring what other people think. I know having this personality can sometimes be hard for others to swallow, but I really admired that about you (most of the time). In the last few months I've really had to think about what is going to be best for me in the long run, regardless of what others think is best. I know that is how you would want me to move forward and that is what I plan to do.

Thank you for taking me with you. Regardless of whether it was a business trip, road trip, football game, family vacation, whatever- you always took me along for the ride. Even on business trips you somehow made it seem appropriate, necessary even, to justify me coming along. I am so thankful for the trips and adventures we took together, and the memories that came with them that I will always carry with me. You once told me, "I don't care where I'm going or what for, if I can find a way to bring you with me I will". Thank you for including me and wanting me to be a part of all the things you did.

And lastly, thank you for loving me. No one has ever loved me the way you did, and I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I will always treasure what we shared, and am now just trying to be ok with the fact that we will never get to see the plans we were making together. Thank you for making me feel so special and important in your life, you were certainly important to mine. I miss you and will love you always.

Happy Valentine's Day,
Mary

My Valentine

Matt was not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, in fact he thought it was a fake commercialized holiday just made up for people to spend money. Even though I’m pretty sure I remember him telling me the bloody “true story” behind St. Valentine, when February 14th rolled around last year he didn’t let me down. He picked me up, bringing with him 18 red roses, a card, and a big heart shaped box of chocolates. I’ve been trying to remember all week where we went for dinner and I couldn’t until just now- Lucky 32. Of course he had waited until the last minute to make reservations anywhere and that was about the only place that wasn’t booked up, and the only time they had for us was at 9 or 10 that night. We talked about just waiting until the weekend to go somewhere fancier at a normal eating hour, but I refused. It was Valentine’s Day and if you were going to celebrate it, it had to be on the actual day. So we went and had a great (late) dinner. What I will remember most was that even though he wasn’t a big fan of Valentine’s Day he made a point to make it special for me, and it was. It saddens me to know that was our only Valentine’s Day together, but I’ve been thinking about him a lot today and since I can’t give him a card, I thought of how I could at least say “thank you” for all the things he did for me.

To Matt-

Thank you for renewing my love for tennis. If it wasn’t for you I may not have started playing regularly again. I will never forget the first time we played together, where it all started. Your passion and enthusiasm to learn the game and get better at it was infectious, and even though I will have to find new tennis partners to play with I will miss our competitiveness on the court and “friendly” wagers. I will keep playing for myself to improve my game and to spread that healthy competition to others, and in doing that I will also be playing for you.

Thank you for pushing me to do better- at work, at play, at our relationship, and at everything else. You never settled for less than the best, and that attitude has started to rub off on me. Your pushing sometimes made me angry if I didn’t agree with you at first, but it always made me think and reevaluate. You made me and still make me want to be a better person in all aspects of life.

Thank you for not caring what other people think. I know having this personality can be sometimes hard for others to swallow, but I really admired that about you (most of the time). In the last few months I’ve really had to think about what is going to be best for me in the long run, regardless of what others think is best. I know that is how you would want me to move forward and that is what I plan to do.

Thank you for taking me with you. Regardless of whether it was a business trip, road trip, football game, family vacation, whatever- you always took me along for the ride. Even on business trips you somehow made it seem appropriate, necessary even, to justify me coming along. I am so thankful for the trips and adventures we took together, and the memories that came with them that I will always carry with me. You once told me, “I don’t care where I’m going or what for, if I can find a way to bring you with me I will”. Thank you for including me and wanting me to be a part of all the things you did.

And lastly, thank you for loving me. No one has ever loved me the way you did, and I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I will always treasure what we shared, and am now just trying to be ok with the fact that we will never get to see the plans we were making together. Thank you for making me feel so special and important to your life, you were certainly important to mine. I miss you and will love you always.

Mary

Speed Week

If you don't following racing you don't know what this entry will be about.

I've always had an attraction to racing. I remember watching it on TV with my dad as a kid and even into my early teen years. Occasionally he and I went to some of the local dirt track events in Pittsburgh where there are now shopping centers and office complexes. I've always liked going to demolition derbys at tracks, fairs, wherever.

I committed to involvement because of Matt. We all know his affinity for fast cars on and off the track. He asked me to join a fantasy league with him. I didn't know much about the drivers or teams at that point, I just liked to watch them race and see an occasional smash up. Being on the fantasy league forced me to learn. I think I beat Matt the first year we did it. I don't think he participated after that. But we did go to races together in Martinsville, in Charlotte, and in Daytona. He went to more tracks including Bristol, Poconos, and Taladega. We had plans to go to Bristol and Taladega together sometime in the future because he had such a good time there and told me he knew I would love the atmosphere. Well, Mark and I will have to do that now.

Back to Speed Week...its the name they use for all of the activity at the Daytona International Speedway to kick of the first race of the season, the Daytona 500. They had the 24hours at Daytona last week. This week there are a lot of different practices, the Budweiser Shootout, the Gatorade Dual 1 and 2, and finally next week the Daytona 500 itself. It's awesome. So many people, so much noise, so many cars, so much beer. Matt, Terry, and I went in 2007. We had tickets for all three races over the course of the week and we got to stay with Matt's grandparents (Terry's folks) who live in Daytona. Matt and I went to all three races. His grandma came to one of them and Terry came to the Daytona 500. We had a blast in spite of the rainy cold weather. The 500 was a great race. For you fans, that was the one that Harvick and Martin were even to the finish line while there was a huge crash behind them and a car came across the finish line after them on its roof.

Such fun. Such special memories. I'm thankful I have them. I wish I could make more and I will, just a different cast of characters...