My Valentine

Matt was not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, in fact he thought it was a fake commercialized holiday just made up for people to spend money. Even though I’m pretty sure I remember him telling me the bloody “true story” behind St. Valentine, when February 14th rolled around last year he didn’t let me down. He picked me up, bringing with him 18 red roses, a card, and a big heart shaped box of chocolates. I’ve been trying to remember all week where we went for dinner and I couldn’t until just now- Lucky 32. Of course he had waited until the last minute to make reservations anywhere and that was about the only place that wasn’t booked up, and the only time they had for us was at 9 or 10 that night. We talked about just waiting until the weekend to go somewhere fancier at a normal eating hour, but I refused. It was Valentine’s Day and if you were going to celebrate it, it had to be on the actual day. So we went and had a great (late) dinner. What I will remember most was that even though he wasn’t a big fan of Valentine’s Day he made a point to make it special for me, and it was. It saddens me to know that was our only Valentine’s Day together, but I’ve been thinking about him a lot today and since I can’t give him a card, I thought of how I could at least say “thank you” for all the things he did for me.

To Matt-

Thank you for renewing my love for tennis. If it wasn’t for you I may not have started playing regularly again. I will never forget the first time we played together, where it all started. Your passion and enthusiasm to learn the game and get better at it was infectious, and even though I will have to find new tennis partners to play with I will miss our competitiveness on the court and “friendly” wagers. I will keep playing for myself to improve my game and to spread that healthy competition to others, and in doing that I will also be playing for you.

Thank you for pushing me to do better- at work, at play, at our relationship, and at everything else. You never settled for less than the best, and that attitude has started to rub off on me. Your pushing sometimes made me angry if I didn’t agree with you at first, but it always made me think and reevaluate. You made me and still make me want to be a better person in all aspects of life.

Thank you for not caring what other people think. I know having this personality can be sometimes hard for others to swallow, but I really admired that about you (most of the time). In the last few months I’ve really had to think about what is going to be best for me in the long run, regardless of what others think is best. I know that is how you would want me to move forward and that is what I plan to do.

Thank you for taking me with you. Regardless of whether it was a business trip, road trip, football game, family vacation, whatever- you always took me along for the ride. Even on business trips you somehow made it seem appropriate, necessary even, to justify me coming along. I am so thankful for the trips and adventures we took together, and the memories that came with them that I will always carry with me. You once told me, “I don’t care where I’m going or what for, if I can find a way to bring you with me I will”. Thank you for including me and wanting me to be a part of all the things you did.

And lastly, thank you for loving me. No one has ever loved me the way you did, and I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I will always treasure what we shared, and am now just trying to be ok with the fact that we will never get to see the plans we were making together. Thank you for making me feel so special and important to your life, you were certainly important to mine. I miss you and will love you always.

Mary